I recently stumbled upon an IG reel that moved me to tears,.. which happens, never. But it was a woman who’d moved abroad to Germany and said how the experience made her a ‘quiet’ person. She went on to explain that in her mother tongue she was loud, expressive, and not afraid to share an opinion, but not having a firm grasp on German, she kid of disappeared into the wallpaper a bit. It struck me hard, because I also struggle and I think a lot lately of how much of myself is dimmed because I literally don’t have the words to express myself. Living abroad has brought me so many privileges, but it’s also one of the loneliness experiences I’ve ever had. I know that’s not the point of this article, but a few lines sparked that for me.
This is so true. When I first moved to France ten years ago, I wasn’t able to show my true personality. I was absorbing it all in, but then I started to become frustrated at not being able to express myself. The biggest reward when you do make it to the other side of learning a new language, is you get to connect with people you never would have the chance otherwise. I still feel lonely living in the French countryside. I totally relate to the part in Jasmine’s article about your world feeling smaller. Of course when you live in a place you didn’t grow up, you also lose what’s nostalgic to you, along with the connections from your younger life. But it’s been the greatest lesson and personal development ever.
Thank you for sharing this, Linda! Wow, 10 years in France is incredible. One of the hardest things I’ve learned this year is how frustrating it can be not to fully show who I am in another language yet. I’m so grateful to live in Tokyo, but it can also feel isolating at times. Living abroad has stretched me in so many ways, so it’s encouraging to hear that learning the language eventually opened up more connections for you. Also, your home in France looks so dreamy 😍
What a dream it must be to live in Tokyo and Japan in general! I have so many questions for you 😄 We’re constantly itching to go back. Thank you for the compliment 🥰
Thank you for sharing this, Ashley. I know that feeling so well. I actually wrote this more recently because learning Japanese has made me realize how hard it is to show your personality when you can't communicate fluently. I’m much more talkative and expressive in English, but in Japanese I can come across as quiet and hesitant than I actually am. Living abroad is an experience I will never take for granted I still pinch myself that I live in Tokyo) but it can be very isolating sometimes.
Thank you Jasmine!!! I am so grateful to have met you! I am so glad you did this piece, because it has now introduced me to the world of 'Free Agents' run by your former colleague, as this is something I am quite interested in. The power of Substack! 💫 I can't wait to see how your publication will evolve and make the most of every moment, just like I am!
Like you said, it feels less alone. I think these essays have this unspoken way of bringing people closer together. There's something so special about that 🥹💕
One of the things I’ve come to appreciate most about Substack, after spending more time here, is how warm and human it feels. It’s the first platform in a long time where I’ve felt a genuine sense of connection with people I’ve never met. Comments feel like conversations, and when you take the time to write something thoughtful, it actually feels like it reaches a person on the other side.
I haven’t felt that kind of openness online since the early days of Twitter. Substack has been around for a while, but it still feels like we’re early to the party. I hope it stays this way.
Welcome to Substack! Thanks so much for the comment and repost, August! I agree :) Everyone here has been so responsive and welcoming. People take the time to share thoughtful and personal stories and I’m always touched when someone messages me directly after an essay too.
This is a wonderful recap, Jasmine! You’ve made some great observations in so little time. I didn’t know about the rule of not posting a link in comment sections! I post a link if I’m relating to what the person wrote, showing that we are on the same page. I thought of that as a positive! I love that you’re connecting with folks, both new and from your past. Keep writing!✨
Thank you for reading and for the kind words, Kendra 🤍 I actually had no idea either until I started noticing that comments with links didn’t get as many responses. I also asked a friend who had been on the platform longer, and then the algorithm started recommending advice posts where people said not to do this.
I thought the same thing at first - it would be a nice way to connect over similar topics. But once people started dropping their articles in my comments, I realized it could come across more like promoting their own work instead of engaging with the author’s piece.
If I do want to bring up that we’re on the same page, I’ll usually say something like, “I wrote about this recently too,” and then only share the link if they ask!
It’s very interesting, because I’ve had only positive experiences posting my links. I’ve been met with enthusiasm, and sometimes even reciprocated link shares! I really think it’s also about how it’s received and that’s individual perspective… I don’t post links thinking of self-promotion.
That’s so great to hear about your experience! I definitely think you should keep doing it given the positive responses you’ve had. I think it probably depends a lot on context and community.
I’m probably just overly cautious because I never want it to come across as transactional so I really appreciated hearing your perspective :)
I feel the same way in hearing your perspective! I’ll have to weigh my approach the next time it comes up. It’s always been organic. I can see both sides. Thank you for such thoughtful responses!✨
Not really sure of the words yet... so I'm just going to write and let it flow...
I found such comfort and reassurance in your post as I read it today.
My first four weeks on Substack have been a real eye-opener. The support and openness of other writers is simply a breath of fresh air.
I found myself nodding in agreement as I read your article, feeling a sense of camaraderie.
My numbers are still very small, but to be honest, I have moved from watching sub counts to actually enjoying each morning as I catch up on the latest posts and comments. I think it is the feeling of building community that I am enjoying the most.
Thank you again for your encouraging words... from someone you don't know.
This is to let you know... you do make a difference, Jasmine.
Hi John, thank you so much for such a kind and thoughtful comment. It means a lot to know that something I wrote resonated and made a difference.
Also, welcome to Substack! I’m so glad you’re already experiencing how supportive and open people can be here. I agree that the community starts to matter more than the numbers. We all start small and I still feel like my publication is small too. Even a small group of people who genuinely read and connect with your work can feel really special :)
Congratulations on the 2 month mark and for sharing your reflections (ps - I also love a retrospective)! I poured myself into writing when I moved from London to NYC a few years ago. A way to try to capture all the moments and the experience while I was in it but sometimes also to pass the time. Also - while so much was new and changing around me - a way to reconnect to myself.
Thank you, Leesa! What kind of writing were you doing when you moved—journaling, blogging, or something else?
I used to write a lot too and then stopped, so I’m really glad Substack has given me a reason to pick it back up again. Like you said, it’s such a good way to reflect and reconnect with yourself when everything around you feels new and unfamiliar. It’s also been really cathartic to have somewhere to express all the thoughts in my head 🤍
Happy weekend! I built my own blog, which is now taken down - called The New New Yorker. This was back in 2016 and I was so proud of it! My cousin and I painstakingly copied each article into documents as I prepared to take down the website, so I could keep the copy and reminisce! Completely agree with you, Substack is a great, and relatively easy way to be able to pick up writing again. What sort of writing did you like to do?
Awh I love that you saved everything before taking it down! Love the name.
So far my writing here has been pretty personal and I’m still figuring out my style on here. I’d also love to branch out into more practical guides eventually (haha my ops background is coming through) and share tactical advice for moving abroad, motherhood, or navigating everyday things in Japan, like ward office visits, doctor appointments, and how certain systems work here.
Thank you for sharing! I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I was someone who thought luck was something you were born with. But it really isn't. I've come to learn it is as you described increasing your surface area will bring luck.
For me stepping out of my comfort zone and trying a new approach is one way to increase my surface area. Now I remind myself I just need to keep on increasing my surface area and everything else will follow.
Yes, I thought so too but you can increase your chances of getting lucky by putting yourself in more situations where opportunities can find you! This is a little cheesy, but it reminds me of Blue Lock soccer anime. There's a scene where the protagonist Isagi initially thinks his competitor Rin only won because he got lucky when a deflected ball happened to fall to him. But the lesson is that Rin had positioned himself where he could actually take advantage of that luck. Like you said, stepping outside your comfort zone is such a great example of that!
Yes! Two weeks ago I had an essay go viral with thousands of views (and weirdly a lot of DMs). Everything else has felt flat since 😬 Glad to know I’m not the only one with that experience!
I feel the same way. Once you’ve had that high, everything afterward can feel flat even when it’s just normal. Then I see people who seem to go viral with every note or essay and it’s so hard not to compare 😅
What a wonderful reflection, Jasmine. 😊 I’ve been here about five months, but I’ve found so many wonderful people to connect with too. I love your reminder that genuine connection is what makes this space so special. ❤️
Thank you so much, Steena! It’s really refreshing to quickly find people who are going through the same season of life you’re in. What’s surprised you the most 5 months into Substack?
You’re so welcome, Jasmine! ❤️ I think what’s surprised me most is the connections I’ve made here. I didn’t expect to find so many wonderful people to share my journey with. 🥰✨
Two months in and already writing the retrospective most of us put off for years, I love the honesty about the wobble at the start. That surface area for luck idea is exactly how it works here: one Note found three weeks late by the right people can change everything.
Thank you so much for the kind words, Melanie! This means a lot coming from someone who’s been here much longer than I have. I still feel like I got so lucky with that one Note but putting myself out there gave luck a chance to find me :)
I recently stumbled upon an IG reel that moved me to tears,.. which happens, never. But it was a woman who’d moved abroad to Germany and said how the experience made her a ‘quiet’ person. She went on to explain that in her mother tongue she was loud, expressive, and not afraid to share an opinion, but not having a firm grasp on German, she kid of disappeared into the wallpaper a bit. It struck me hard, because I also struggle and I think a lot lately of how much of myself is dimmed because I literally don’t have the words to express myself. Living abroad has brought me so many privileges, but it’s also one of the loneliness experiences I’ve ever had. I know that’s not the point of this article, but a few lines sparked that for me.
This is so true. When I first moved to France ten years ago, I wasn’t able to show my true personality. I was absorbing it all in, but then I started to become frustrated at not being able to express myself. The biggest reward when you do make it to the other side of learning a new language, is you get to connect with people you never would have the chance otherwise. I still feel lonely living in the French countryside. I totally relate to the part in Jasmine’s article about your world feeling smaller. Of course when you live in a place you didn’t grow up, you also lose what’s nostalgic to you, along with the connections from your younger life. But it’s been the greatest lesson and personal development ever.
Thank you for sharing this, Linda! Wow, 10 years in France is incredible. One of the hardest things I’ve learned this year is how frustrating it can be not to fully show who I am in another language yet. I’m so grateful to live in Tokyo, but it can also feel isolating at times. Living abroad has stretched me in so many ways, so it’s encouraging to hear that learning the language eventually opened up more connections for you. Also, your home in France looks so dreamy 😍
What a dream it must be to live in Tokyo and Japan in general! I have so many questions for you 😄 We’re constantly itching to go back. Thank you for the compliment 🥰
Feel free to message me anytime about it and let me know if you visit 🤍
Thank you for sharing this, Ashley. I know that feeling so well. I actually wrote this more recently because learning Japanese has made me realize how hard it is to show your personality when you can't communicate fluently. I’m much more talkative and expressive in English, but in Japanese I can come across as quiet and hesitant than I actually am. Living abroad is an experience I will never take for granted I still pinch myself that I live in Tokyo) but it can be very isolating sometimes.
Thank you Jasmine!!! I am so grateful to have met you! I am so glad you did this piece, because it has now introduced me to the world of 'Free Agents' run by your former colleague, as this is something I am quite interested in. The power of Substack! 💫 I can't wait to see how your publication will evolve and make the most of every moment, just like I am!
Like you said, it feels less alone. I think these essays have this unspoken way of bringing people closer together. There's something so special about that 🥹💕
Yes!! I saw Matt replied to your other Note, so I hope you two can connect and that you can join!
And thank you 🥹 I really admire the work and care you’ve put into building your publication and community too!
It’s so special how people here go out of their way to reach out when something you write resonates with them. I really love that about Substack.
One of the things I’ve come to appreciate most about Substack, after spending more time here, is how warm and human it feels. It’s the first platform in a long time where I’ve felt a genuine sense of connection with people I’ve never met. Comments feel like conversations, and when you take the time to write something thoughtful, it actually feels like it reaches a person on the other side.
I haven’t felt that kind of openness online since the early days of Twitter. Substack has been around for a while, but it still feels like we’re early to the party. I hope it stays this way.
Welcome to Substack! Thanks so much for the comment and repost, August! I agree :) Everyone here has been so responsive and welcoming. People take the time to share thoughtful and personal stories and I’m always touched when someone messages me directly after an essay too.
This is a wonderful recap, Jasmine! You’ve made some great observations in so little time. I didn’t know about the rule of not posting a link in comment sections! I post a link if I’m relating to what the person wrote, showing that we are on the same page. I thought of that as a positive! I love that you’re connecting with folks, both new and from your past. Keep writing!✨
Thank you for reading and for the kind words, Kendra 🤍 I actually had no idea either until I started noticing that comments with links didn’t get as many responses. I also asked a friend who had been on the platform longer, and then the algorithm started recommending advice posts where people said not to do this.
I thought the same thing at first - it would be a nice way to connect over similar topics. But once people started dropping their articles in my comments, I realized it could come across more like promoting their own work instead of engaging with the author’s piece.
If I do want to bring up that we’re on the same page, I’ll usually say something like, “I wrote about this recently too,” and then only share the link if they ask!
My pleasure, Jasmine!💛
It’s very interesting, because I’ve had only positive experiences posting my links. I’ve been met with enthusiasm, and sometimes even reciprocated link shares! I really think it’s also about how it’s received and that’s individual perspective… I don’t post links thinking of self-promotion.
That’s so great to hear about your experience! I definitely think you should keep doing it given the positive responses you’ve had. I think it probably depends a lot on context and community.
I’m probably just overly cautious because I never want it to come across as transactional so I really appreciated hearing your perspective :)
I feel the same way in hearing your perspective! I’ll have to weigh my approach the next time it comes up. It’s always been organic. I can see both sides. Thank you for such thoughtful responses!✨
Hello Jasmine,
Not really sure of the words yet... so I'm just going to write and let it flow...
I found such comfort and reassurance in your post as I read it today.
My first four weeks on Substack have been a real eye-opener. The support and openness of other writers is simply a breath of fresh air.
I found myself nodding in agreement as I read your article, feeling a sense of camaraderie.
My numbers are still very small, but to be honest, I have moved from watching sub counts to actually enjoying each morning as I catch up on the latest posts and comments. I think it is the feeling of building community that I am enjoying the most.
Thank you again for your encouraging words... from someone you don't know.
This is to let you know... you do make a difference, Jasmine.
Hi John, thank you so much for such a kind and thoughtful comment. It means a lot to know that something I wrote resonated and made a difference.
Also, welcome to Substack! I’m so glad you’re already experiencing how supportive and open people can be here. I agree that the community starts to matter more than the numbers. We all start small and I still feel like my publication is small too. Even a small group of people who genuinely read and connect with your work can feel really special :)
Keep up the good work Jasmine… it is appreciated
Congratulations on the 2 month mark and for sharing your reflections (ps - I also love a retrospective)! I poured myself into writing when I moved from London to NYC a few years ago. A way to try to capture all the moments and the experience while I was in it but sometimes also to pass the time. Also - while so much was new and changing around me - a way to reconnect to myself.
Thank you, Leesa! What kind of writing were you doing when you moved—journaling, blogging, or something else?
I used to write a lot too and then stopped, so I’m really glad Substack has given me a reason to pick it back up again. Like you said, it’s such a good way to reflect and reconnect with yourself when everything around you feels new and unfamiliar. It’s also been really cathartic to have somewhere to express all the thoughts in my head 🤍
Happy weekend! I built my own blog, which is now taken down - called The New New Yorker. This was back in 2016 and I was so proud of it! My cousin and I painstakingly copied each article into documents as I prepared to take down the website, so I could keep the copy and reminisce! Completely agree with you, Substack is a great, and relatively easy way to be able to pick up writing again. What sort of writing did you like to do?
Awh I love that you saved everything before taking it down! Love the name.
So far my writing here has been pretty personal and I’m still figuring out my style on here. I’d also love to branch out into more practical guides eventually (haha my ops background is coming through) and share tactical advice for moving abroad, motherhood, or navigating everyday things in Japan, like ward office visits, doctor appointments, and how certain systems work here.
Thank you for sharing! I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I was someone who thought luck was something you were born with. But it really isn't. I've come to learn it is as you described increasing your surface area will bring luck.
For me stepping out of my comfort zone and trying a new approach is one way to increase my surface area. Now I remind myself I just need to keep on increasing my surface area and everything else will follow.
Yes, I thought so too but you can increase your chances of getting lucky by putting yourself in more situations where opportunities can find you! This is a little cheesy, but it reminds me of Blue Lock soccer anime. There's a scene where the protagonist Isagi initially thinks his competitor Rin only won because he got lucky when a deflected ball happened to fall to him. But the lesson is that Rin had positioned himself where he could actually take advantage of that luck. Like you said, stepping outside your comfort zone is such a great example of that!
Thank you! That is very true and thank you for the anime suggestion. I’ll have to give it a watch
I laughed at "I did a retrospective" as a fellow former Ops girlie! Love your writing as always.
HAHAHA yes I had to 😂 Thank you!!
Yes! Two weeks ago I had an essay go viral with thousands of views (and weirdly a lot of DMs). Everything else has felt flat since 😬 Glad to know I’m not the only one with that experience!
Can you send me the essay? I’d love to read it!
I feel the same way. Once you’ve had that high, everything afterward can feel flat even when it’s just normal. Then I see people who seem to go viral with every note or essay and it’s so hard not to compare 😅
What a wonderful reflection, Jasmine. 😊 I’ve been here about five months, but I’ve found so many wonderful people to connect with too. I love your reminder that genuine connection is what makes this space so special. ❤️
Thank you so much, Steena! It’s really refreshing to quickly find people who are going through the same season of life you’re in. What’s surprised you the most 5 months into Substack?
You’re so welcome, Jasmine! ❤️ I think what’s surprised me most is the connections I’ve made here. I didn’t expect to find so many wonderful people to share my journey with. 🥰✨
This is great and I have had a very similar time here- one note that went viral and many more that went nowhere 😂
Thank you! Can you link your viral note? I’m curious to read it.
https://substack.com/@senchagreentea/note/c-299915062?r=gbwkp&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action This was mine, it wasn’t one I thought would get any traction at all 😂😂
Nice!! Congrats on the traction and finishing up your novel 🥳
Thank you!!
happy we got to reconnect via substack and excited that you're in free agents now!
Thank you! Same here 🥹
Two months in and already writing the retrospective most of us put off for years, I love the honesty about the wobble at the start. That surface area for luck idea is exactly how it works here: one Note found three weeks late by the right people can change everything.
Thank you so much for the kind words, Melanie! This means a lot coming from someone who’s been here much longer than I have. I still feel like I got so lucky with that one Note but putting myself out there gave luck a chance to find me :)
I have also found all of this to be true. Thank you for putting it in writing, Jasmine.
Thank you for reading, Izabela! I'm glad to hear this. I hope you and your daughter are staying cool in Japan.